OF CANDY CORNS AND ELIZABETH SMART

THE HISTORY The midafternoon sun is devilishly misleading, for its bright rays beckon warmth when it is really the crisp autumn air that regulates the chill in the air and wafts with cinnamon and apple.  The delicious smells spin in tendrils of steam from the crack of an opened kitchen window.  But the window is […]

THE TASTE OF WEAKNESS

THE TRIGGER  So, the flu gets everyone down, and I have had it for nine days now—fever, chills, body aches, extreme sore throat, congestion, the works.  But, in addition to the normal difficulties that illness brings (and these were enormous considering the fact that my husband and 11-month-old daughter also had the flu, which left […]

HUGE EXERCISE BREAKTHROUGH

THE SLIPPERY SLOPE  Another huge part of my recovery has been the battle with exercise.  Growing up, exercise was always connected with team sports—swim team, cross-country, soccer, lacrosse.  I wasn’t a sports superstar, but I was a contributing member of several sports teams.  However, I stopped participating on sports teams for a few years, and […]

LETTER TO THE WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRY: I SAY ENOUGH!

Dear Weight Loss Industry (diets, exercise programs, supplements, plastic surgery, hollywood, you-know-who-you-are, etc.): When I follow your lead, I feel like a monkey on a leash, grasping at the newest and best banana that gets thrown in my direction.  Nothing is satisfying, everything is depriving.  When I listen to your sweet whispers, I think not […]

BIGGEST FEAR–SAYING GOODBYE TO THE FANTASY

THE BRICK WALL  I have always thought of myself as a courageous person, one not really driven by fear.  However, my therapist was able to see past that façade, even when I didn’t even know that it was a façade.  He challenged me to ask “What fear is driving this?” whenever I have a difficult […]

A FORK IN THE ROAD

THE THOUGHT Today, I want to share about a thought that has been growing in my mind since my third therapy session.  During that session, my therapist talked about the idea that my constant shame-based thoughts about body and self-worth have blinded me to the reality that there is another choice.  There is the path […]

MORNING MIRROR BASHING

Church has always been difficult for me because from the moment I walk through the door, I immediately body check and compare myself, my outfit, my hair, etc. to every other woman in the room.  All these women are friends of mine, and they always measure up greater, better, and more beautiful than I.  This […]