MASQUERADE

FACADE The room is filled with the sounds of celebration—from polite laughter to raucous merriment.  The click clack of heels mingles with the swooshing of skirts, and the almost silent breathlessness of corsets.  The expanse of stone walls stretch beyond sight and are only broken up by the majestic columns adorned with wreaths and flowers.  […]

EMBRACING UGLINESS

So, a candid picture of me was taken recently and when I saw it, the words that ran through my head were, “Urgh.  I am so ugly.  Delete that picture immediately.”  So, apart from the idea that this is exactly what I am working against with Intuitive Eating, a new thought occurred to me.  What […]

THANKSGIVING DAY VICTORY

I did it.  It was my first Thanksgiving since embracing Intuitive Eating and, though I was petrified because I have never been able to not overeat at Thanksgiving, I was optimistic.  I hoped that with the proper preparation, I would be able to enjoy Thanksgiving for what it was—a holiday to celebrate family, enjoy food, […]

OF CANDY CORNS AND ELIZABETH SMART

THE HISTORY The midafternoon sun is devilishly misleading, for its bright rays beckon warmth when it is really the crisp autumn air that regulates the chill in the air and wafts with cinnamon and apple.  The delicious smells spin in tendrils of steam from the crack of an opened kitchen window.  But the window is […]

HOLIDAY BILL OF RIGHTS

The holidays can sometimes be a challenging time for a variety of reasons—loss, especially of loved ones, stress, financial strain, and for me, an abundance of triggers, binging, and empty promises of new diets.  However, the holidays also bring some of the most special, spiritually strengthening, and unifying times of my life.  And yet, for […]

RELAPSE

I felt things were going okay with Intuitive Eating and I thought I was making progress, especially in the “respect your body” arena, however, my latest adventures proved me otherwise, well, at least, I went in unprepared, so it got the better of me, but I’ll get to that in a minute. THE TRIGGER I […]

THE TASTE OF WEAKNESS

THE TRIGGER  So, the flu gets everyone down, and I have had it for nine days now—fever, chills, body aches, extreme sore throat, congestion, the works.  But, in addition to the normal difficulties that illness brings (and these were enormous considering the fact that my husband and 11-month-old daughter also had the flu, which left […]

BETRAYED BY MY FIRST LOVE

Hey peeps!  In my endless quest to end the war with my body, food, and my eating disorder, I have been taking time the last several weeks looking for answers.  And I have found–I think–several essential pieces of my puzzle, and I would like to share them with you. Below is an article from Evelyn […]

WHEN SOMEONE CALLED ME THE UGLY DUCKLING

MY REACTION For most of my life, whenever I body bash, there are others around me who tell me that I am beautiful.  I cannot recall times when anyone has ever agreed with my criticisms of body disgust and ugliness.  However, recently, someone close to me called me the ugly duckling.  At first, I felt […]

EMOTIONAL EATING

TRIGGERS Last night I emotionally ate—I binged on Golden Grams, Reese’s Cups (which I don’t even like), and chocolate milk.  It had been a long weekend out-of-town, my husband was leaving for a business trip to Russia for 12 days the next morning (it will be just me and my three girls), and I received […]