A FORK IN THE ROAD

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THE THOUGHT

Today, I want to share about a thought that has been growing in my mind since my third therapy session.  During that session, my therapist talked about the idea that my constant shame-based thoughts about body and self-worth have blinded me to the reality that there is another choice.  There is the path I have been taking of body bashing, dieting, and eating disorders.  But, there is another path—the path of peace, the path of acceptance, the path of gratitude.  And, the most stunning realization is that I can choose to take that path each and every time I start on a spiral of negative thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Each and every time that I try my habitual morning mirror bashing, there is a different path, a fork in the road.  I can choose to take this path of peace.  The way to force my body away from the habitual path and take a purposeful step to the path of peace is gratitude.  So, let me paint this picture for you.  The moment I begin the mirror bashing, I can take stop it in its tracks by imagining that fork in the road.

THE IMAGE

I can see it now—one path is very well-traveled and it beckons me because it has a familiar smell and feel.  The path is down-hill and easy to navigate.  Dozens of people, many of whom I know, are making their way along it.  The destination of this path is something I know is dark and terrible, but it is so covered in mist that I manage to convince myself that it doesn’t matter where the path ends.  It only matters that this path is easier, more comfortable, and familiar.

As I start the accustomed first step down this path, I stop, because for the first time, I realize that there is another path, a a road less-traveled—one that is uphill and covered with thorns and brambles.  This path does not look inviting, in fact, it terrifies me, but what makes me want to go down that path is the destination.  At the end of this path is only what can be described as paradise—my body and I are no longer at war.  Food is not my enemy.  I am whole again.

THE PATH

So, when I begin those body-bashing thoughts, when the food police come with a vengeance, or when a diet is beckoning seductively, I try to see a fork in the road, with a path that leads to peace.

6 thoughts on “A FORK IN THE ROAD

  1. I love this post so much! Perfect analogy. I wish you luck on the thorn and bramble filled path. You are so strong and amazing and I so appreciate your openness in this.

  2. Thanks for sharing….. So, I’ve been listening to my Intuitive Eating cd’s and I can’t believe how spot on they are. It’s like everything they say, I”m going” That is SOOOO me! EXACTLY!” I feel that they understand me and my thoughts and it makes me feel like I’m obviously not the only one like this. I never knew why my relationship with food is the way it is or how to try to explain it even to myself but it’s like they took my thoughts and feelings and made sense of them and were able to explain them with words. I know I have a long way to go and some of the principles are NOT going to be easy, but I feel like this is a stepping stone and something I will be open to because they know the problem and the reasons, so they must know some solutions. Thanks again for sharing this.

  3. So true. Breaking free from the dieting mindset, from negative judgments, really just comes down to a choice… you can choose to be kind to yourself and to accept your body. Of course, it’s easier said than done. From my own experience, I’ve found that you really have to believe you’re making that choice, or it won’t work. But if you can make it, it’s like a huge weight off your back (forgive the pun), and confidence, movement, laughter, everything, just comes so much easier. My problem, which I think you are similarly experiencing, comes with the triggers that I inevitably face on a daily basis… skinny women, an unflattering image of myself in a mirror, so many things… To really stick with this choice we have to be constantly reminding ourselves that we are worthy, we accept our bodies. But I believe we can get there 🙂

    • Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. I agree that the reminders need to be constant and I believe, as it seems you do, that if the reminders are constant enough and we believe them, with time we will come to really, truly, fully accept our bodies, and believe that they are worthy. Blessings to you on your journey! Come again soon!

  4. oh i love the imagery of this! i have had to do this many a time, but this is a great image to use for it!

    • Thanks for commenting Cassia! I definitely need strong images in order to combat those society plasters everywhere, so I’m glad you like it too!

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